| (no subject) |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|07:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
im sorryyyyyyy!
i messed up.
oh god i hate myself.
there were these guys here putting in new windows all over my house and i was doing fine, i was in the basement keeping out of their way.
i swear i wasnt hungry. but the second they left i went up to my kitchen and ate. a lot. i couldnt stop. it was a full out binge.
please forgive me.
i know i can do it, i've done it before. fasting isnt hard, its just...gahh i dont even know.
i decided im going to go to bed earlier tonight so that i dont spend half the night doing things i could be doing tomorrow to keep busy. then when i wake up tomorrow ... i'll wake up at 5am and go for a walk or run, depending on how i feel.
after that i'll probably come home and sleep some more.
i have to at all times keep 2 water bottles with me, 1 of those bottles has to have freshly squeezed lime in it, that kills the hunger.
gahh. i know i can do it. really. i promise.
i am so in hate with myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|09:41 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cranky | ] |
i was awake for most of the night so it seems like i've already been fasting for like, a whole day. that is completely not true.
pretty soon my mother will be coming around here asking if i would like to eat something. i will just yell at her to get the hell out of my room and slam the door in her face.
9:42am.
its only the beginning.
people were supposed to come this morning to do something or other around the house so i didnt really sleep at all, now, they're not here.
i think i'll throw things at them when they arrive.
i am again in hate with the world. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|02:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
I just made this journal because I'd rather not mix my diet and normal life. People just don't get my extreme diets.
I kept planning a fast, I kept failing. So now, I have this bitch to keep me occupied and in check.
August 24, Day 1 of fast.
I am doing this for 13 days, so its day 1 of 13. My cell phone is also programmed to remind me of this fast and keep me in check when I do not have the computer to help me out.
In exactly 13 days I have to go back to school and I do not plan on letting people see me as the whale I have come to resemble.
Good day my fellow diet-ers. |
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trimspireme's journal